what do you do when u stand at threshhold of an imposing consequence that seems to have arisen from your own treason with your own heart , an act of cowardice , trivial in the beginning , but now threatens the sheer denomination of your virtuous sanctity.
vikram felt the same way , when he stood at the threshold of vikas's appartment. it was the third floor. dusk was descending and merging with an early winter night. unusually cold , and windy. he had opened the lock , he knew how to manuever the damn thing. rusted stupid, old fashioned lock which vikas so cherished. but this time it had been so difficult. with every click vikram's heart was shearing apart and it wanted to explode when he opened the door.
it was dark. ke knew where the switches were. yet the dark seemed an easy escape. he was afraid, of what horrors the light might show. the lingering presence of vikas's candles , his perfumes , his room spray were all around. vikram could identify all and each had a different meaning , a different memory.
the room showed nothing abrupt. vikram didnt know if it soothed him or vexated him that there was such perfect order in the room. he had expected a total mess. cigaretter stubbs , ash, empty bottle of alcohol, ditry clothes , soiled bed sheets. the stench of urine, dust and what not. he had expected shreds of broken glass , upturned furniture and notes of vikas's grief.
he found none. yet it occured like serene white walls were smeared with blood , like the room was filled with his sobs. vikram stood shivering , only when he entered the balcony , he noticed something. a half empty bottle of smirn off , apple twist , a slender wine glass , and a black satin robe.
vikram sat down upon the cane arm chair. undressed and got into the robes , filled himself some vodka and sipped it. the robe felt like vikas , his body , his smell . vikram sat still , tears running down his cheeks , wind blowing in his handsome face, blowing his hair , the night had finally arrived and moon was hidden beneath the clouds.
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he was suddenly woken up by the rumble in the house. the sun was shinning upon him and had blinded him for a few seconds. the stood up and found bobby staring at him . the robe was hardly covering his bare essentials , exposing his chest and a leg. he fumbled to cover himself up.
'' what are you doing here ? '' bobby asked him , trying not to shout , containing her anger and her hatred.
'' i...nothing... i mean i had his key...and thought i'd go check the aapartment...'' vikram said and added '' lemme just go , get dressed ''
he picked his clothes and shot out towards the bathroom.
bobby had already cleaned the living room and the kitchen. to her surprise things were in order. hardly any dust. no laundry to do. no half eaten food or unwashed utensils. vikas was never like that , she thought. she was relieved to see the refridgerator. it was well stocked. her son was eating well , it in some way gave her a little relief. she was yet to go to his room.
vikram came out .
'' you could have gone to the common bath-room...i could have cleaned his room. why did u go to my son's bathroom.. its personal...dont you know...or do you just get into anyone's house and then to their bedrooms and their bathrooms too '' she admonished him.
'' and give me that robe...thats my vikki's... you wore it and that too totally naked.. no shame , you have.. i dont know what kind of upbringing you've had. first you cast magic on my son , yu do all kind of bad things to him , you even wear his clothes ''
'' and now he's in such state because of you... please leave us alone...'' she was not shouting any more. it seemed as if she was talking to herself.
''aunty...sorry..mrs. kapoor.. i dont want to get into argument with you. i am sorry for wearing his clothes and there isnt much cleaning to do in his room anyways..and his bathroom that i used...anyways..nevermind...here are the keys and i'll just leave now '' he gave her the keys and was just about to leave when her cell phone rang.
''hello...haan pummy..ki hoya..ki...vikki nu''
''rab...mera baccha. iam coming..''
bobby was hysterical and crying uncontrollably.
' what happened to vikas...tell me...'' he shook her and asked her.
'' i dont know...pummy just asked me to come immediately...something wrong has happened to my vikki...rab!! pls save my child...baba ji bacha lo mere bacche ko...'' bobby was praying ceaselessly through her tears.
vikram took her by hand..and put her in his car.. he drove like mad men. through the highways of delhi , under the metro , criss crossing the DELHI METRO barricades. he broke several rules, crossed so many lights.
when they reached hospital , to their relief they found vikas was stable now. he had an arrythmia , which doctors explained was that his heart was beating chaotically . but they had managed to stablise him. bobby fell into pummy's arms , crying.
vikram sat down , exhausted and relieved. they all sat silently for a long time , watching vikas. he got them coffee and some food in between. the sun was almost about to set. vikram knew he had to leave. he was stopped in the hall way by bobby.
'' thank you '' she said.
'' its ok ''...he replied
'' listen...i'll ......'' she was about to say something when vikram cut her short
'' i know you hate me and you have all the reasons.... but please take care of him.. you wont see me around him or his appartment from tomorrow'' he said.
'' bye mrs. kapoor '' he turned back.
'' vikram '' she called him.
'' i was just about to say that please take this key and bring some of his clothes tomorrow... i am alone and i cant manage everything on my own.. '' she handed him the keys.
he took them and they both stood looking at each other in a silent understanding.
'' so i'll see you tomorrow'' she said and went back to vikas.
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